My Soul Cries For My Father.


via My Soul Cries For My Father.

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The reflection


The reflection of your life is what you have gone thru. Your troubles, pain, love, happiness. The memories that you will always hold dear to your heart.

What do you see in your life? Did you accomplish your goals did you have. Do you have any regrets?

It’s all about the decisions that you make and not what others want you to do. Its never to late to learn something new expand your mind be a better you. Don’t let anyone stop you from achieving your goals.

There’s so many ups and downs in your life but, its how you take action in your life. Don’t look at the negativity In your life turn it around and make it positive.

You’re the only person who can turn your life around and nobody else. They can support you and cheer you on. Yet they can’t do the work for you.

The pain that keeps burning


I’ve never let go of the pain i went thru. From being raped, beaten, mentally abused.

All this pain just stayed inside my soul. The hatred towards others and pushing people away from me so they can hurt me. I’ll hurt them first.

But there’s a problem my heart, my heart will be what kills me, the love i have for others will be the death of me. In the End my heart will play games with my mind and that is how it will end.

It’s just a mask


Does anyone really know how you feel? Do you actually tell them.

Are you alone and your feelings start coming out. Your hurt, lost, pained? Tired of doing things to make others happy instead of doing what makes you happy.

How many times do you cry yourself to sleep? How many times do you regret not doing what’s best for you?

Don’t get your self held down where you are stuck and have no place to go.

Do what makes you happy not what they want to do for their own good. It doesn’t help you at all.

Let the pain inside of you out you need to heal. You are worth life, you are a valuable person. You will find a way.

ME


I Am beautiful I Am worth It, I Am proud of myself I Am confident I Am loved

I Love myself for all of the obstacles I have gone thru and conquered. I am the strong person I am today for all the pain, bruises, the lies that have been told. I wouldn’t be this strong willed, stubborn person if I didn’t go thru the obstacles. I would change what I went thru for who I am today.

Although I am very scared yet I will conquer my battles and Win and keep going. Because I won’t give up I won’t give in to the funnel of darkness that is not me.

Story from a birth mother


img_0739After the day I gave you up for adoption I thought I was such a bad mom. Even a bad mom to your siblings. Now that you are an adult and we have been talking more and more and rebuilding our bond.

Hearing you tell me that I’ve always been your mother and hearing your sister tell me I’ll always be your (all 3 kids) mommy means the world to me. As you grew older I thought you would of had a hatred towards me because i didn’t keep you. I was very wrong. When you told me that I meant a lot to you made me so very happy.

You kids are my Angels no matter what. My love for you will never end nor will it be any less.

There are so many words that I can’t express. Yes there were things I wish I could of changed. Yet in the end we are still blood we will always be a family.

The memories that need to end!


How do I start? 18 years ago the abuse got worse. Covering up more of the bruises hoping that nobody can see them. And keeping my attitude happy go lucky as always. Hiding the feelings of being physically abused and also mentally abused. I may have not gotten hit as often as others but, I was still hit more than once.

The Physical abuse started the day we got married. I was his property in his eyes I was to do what he said. 1st time he hit was the first night he slept on the couch. The next morning i couldn’t walk at all I crawled to the bathroom than crawled to the living room and I felt dizzy and figured out i had a concussion. I called off work that day.

The biggest one that gives me nightmares to this day was sometime in November when I was getting ready for work and we started arguing I ended up on the floor with him on top of me strangling me and hitting me he broke my left eardrum, bruises around my neck from his hands and bruises on the left side of my face. I still ended up going to work early and calling the Georgia State Police to make a report against my husband. Right after the cops left he shows up within 5-10 min saying I was crazy and the bruises just appeared and he never touched me that I was a crazy Bitch. Told him he has to leave and go to work. I went back inside Mc Donald’s clocked like I usually do and worked my whole shift. Trying to keep my composure and not think about what happened to me. As I arrived back home my husband acted like nothing ever happened. This was one of the Many arguments we had he would even hit me after he found out I called his parents in Guatemala about the abuse.

I did get out of that marriage and filed for an uncontested divorce. Please don’t stay in an abusive relationship it’s not healthy for you. Your life is important you deserve better.

Just to say a few words of advice even if they say they are not going to do this again… Is a lie they will continue to beat you and leave out of the situation the best you can!

You need to live the life that you deserve no abuse (physically, emotionally, verbally) Do you and make the best out of life.

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