Not yet


Im not ready for this. I know my strength and what i can do. But this situation scares me its not time yet. I know you will be ok. Yet my mind is trying to get me ready for if that day happens. 

Holding everything in so you dont see what im feeling yet you already know. 

You reading my eyes and seeing whats wrong with out asking. There no hiding things from you. 

The touch of your hand rubbing my cheek just by a touch i feel the love you have for me.  It’s just like the 1st kiss we had in 1992. 

That rekindling love that hasnt stopped burning just started getting brighter and stronger.  Everyday that goes on by our love keeps getting stronger. 

I know your here to stay yet every day is a different day. New challenges and finding new strengthes. We never did think it would of started like this. Every day I see you and that means everyday is closer for you to be with me.  We are both staying strong. Yet i will still hold in those tears when its time to leave and see you the next day.  

Mas mahal kita my habibi

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This is it


I’m not sure how to feel, how to figure things out. From what I thought is not what it is. 

Is it not what it was or was it ever anything. 

Is it time wasted or time that was an experience of learning of who we were ourselves

When is the time to realize that it needs to end. The time to finally do things for you and not everyone else?

It never to late


It is never to late to find your passion that you thought you had lost. It never to late to figure out were you do belong.

What does your heart desire what is it that you have wanted to do.

Who can you help? Who can help You? What are you open to learn? Where are you at in your Life? What can you do to  expand your mind or make yourself a better person?

What is holding you back? Are you holding yourself back? Why? 

It’s never over


At this point I don’t know where to go. Where to start. How to even explain  how I really feel or what I even need to do. The circles keep going in circles and circles. It won’t stop.

When I think that things are ok it just gets worse and worse. 

Lasting Memories


As the years have past I will forever hold onto the memories.  That stay in my mind my heart.  You will never be forgotten.  Things I do brings me back to the memories I had with you.  I truly love you with all that I have I’m afraid to let go and never see you again.  Was it my mistake to even let you go 

I’m afraid to wake up only because if I do you will disappear.  My heart cries out for you yet you are not near.

I keep searching and searching for you yet I can’t find you.  I don’t want your to slip thru my finger tips. I just wont  let you go from my mind my soul.  

Just another lost soul wandering the earth searching  aimlessly for something that was lost yet was there the whole time. 

Search deep deep inside of you. Stop just stop running. It’s time the circle ends now

No more


It’s time that it needs to go away.  I want it to end. It needs to stop eating me from. The inside out.  Just leave me alone and don’t ever come back.  Just let me be stop bothering me.  I can’t keep you lingering in my life and ruining everything I try to do. 

Just stop. Stop coming back. I am going to get rid of what you have done to me.  Yet the pain is still there. Go find someone else to make miserable. Just let me be. I’m seeking help and you will stop haunting me.

Please just go. 

I can’t


I’m tired of holding in all of the pain. I’m tired of feeling hurt. Tired of reliving the nightmare.  I’m not even sure if I even know who I am anymore. I’ve been holding in all the hate and the pain in for so long I can’t find my way out

I’m tired of running. Tired of holding in the pain. It won’t stop it keeps going Into circles and won’t stop.  I want to let go of the pain and heal just leave me alone so I can just go on.

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